Sexuality in my Asperger’s Son

Today, I read this article on CNN: Study: Girls take more chances during first sex.

We have 6 children – three boys and three girls ranging from 17 down to 2 and a half. We are in the middle of just about every stage of child development that exists with one child or another. While this article focused mainly on girls, it also made me think about sexuality in my son, Daniel age 12.

Daniel has Asperger’s but while his Asperger’s seems to have delayed some of his social and verbal development, it has not delayed the physical changes of puberty as well as many of the sexual ones. He is painfully aware of girls. He squirmed and babbled on, embarrassed, this weekend during the scene in the new “Karate Kid” when Dre (boy) gives one of the most innocent on screen kisses to his co-star.

This has brought about a new worry. I struggle enough as it is to know what to do regarding my girls, even as a woman myself. I feel at a loss to know how to relate to my boys.

I am nervous in general and specifically regarding Daniel. I am sure the worries are the same every parent suffers but as usual with Daniel, they are just more pressing.

I worry how he will respond to the stresses of personal relationships with the added dynamics of romance and sex. I worry that he will be immature and engage in risky sexual behavior that could result in an unplanned pregnancy or worse, disease. I worry that he will be too enthusiastic towards a girl and there will be misunderstandings or worse, inappropriate behavior on Daniel’s part that will follow him. I worry that he will be harshly rejected and the impact that will have on him.

I hope for him to find his way. I hope for good experiences for him through this time. I hope for lessons that are hard enough without being too hard. I hope for him to eventually find a partner that will understand him, respect him and love him. However, I don’t know how to help him bridge this gap. I feel so inept.

As a child, I could baby proof the house and protect him. As he gets older, the natural progression is that there is less I have control over, less I can do to protect him. While this is as it should be, it is hard for me.


About aspergersmom

I am a 35 year old woman. I am the wife of an amazing man, who keeps me sane. As a recent California/Florida transplant to the midwest and the mother to a combined family of 6 children; 3 boys, 3 girls, my life is an adventure. I blog and raise our family with my best friend.
This entry was posted in Ah-ha moments, Challenges, Emotions, Hot Button Topic, Parenting on the Spectrum, Sexuality, transitions and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Sexuality in my Asperger’s Son

  1. Autism Dad says:

    Great piece….thanks for tackling this important subject that cannot be easy to talk about!

  2. Virginia says:

    Hi! I was doing a research on Aspergers and ran into you. 🙂 It’s funny because on Facebook I got by Asperger Moms. It’s so nice to “meet” you! I also have six children and my oldest has Aspergers.

    • aspergersmom says:

      Nice to meet you! What a funny coincidence! I am always glad to meet another mother and even more so, another mother of six with one on the spectrum!

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