It is the calm before the storm tonight. The girls are in bed. My husband is still out, scouting a basketball game with the head coach of the local high school. Daniel and Robert are in their rooms, watching tv and playing DS. The older two kids are at their mom’s house tonight. I am listening to my “Ella Fitzgerald” station on Pandora and trying to channel my inner 50’s house-wife to get ready of two full days of cooking and entertaining.
I have read a lot about how difficult this Holiday can be for parents of children on the spectrum. The desire to put on a good front or at the least not be a disturbance at the unusually formal meal that is a tradition of Thanksgiving. I realize how lucky I am.
Daniel will be vibrating at a very high frequency this week. I probably will too. My husband will balance me out with the nearly perfectly timed encouragement or nudge. My husband’s family, who will all be coming to my house for dinner on Thursday, are incredibly understanding about Daniel. They won’t be put off by Daniel’s odd physical movements or verbal quirks that are intensified by having company. They will kindly listen to him going on and on about a subject and when he darts away, hands trailing behind him like a character out of a cartoon, they will turn to me and smile and say, “He is such a sweet boy!”
They will pitch in to help with the set up and clean up and graciously compliment Daniel when he tries to help. Daniel glows under those circumstances. His quirks are more glaring but so are his strengths. He will be trying to be charming and it is so obvious that everyone seems to find it endearing. He will be working his hardest to be helpful and he will be his most affectionate towards me. He will remember this is the time of year when we show family how much we care and that will remind him to hug me. I will bask in the spontaneous hugs and compliments.
I hope everyone will have a weekend that brings great moments and precious memories. I hope that we will all set aside our expectations, embarrassments, judgments and just enjoy and love each other right where we are today.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!