I began as a parent with a fairly neutral opinion on video games. Then, video games became Daniel’s obsession. This was long before he was a teenager hiding with a controller and headset in his room. Daniel’s video game obsession began at 2.
At the time, I didn’t see it as an obsession. I was dealing with so many things that the focus on video games was just one of a long list of “not-quite-typical” aspects of my son that I was facing.
By 3rd grade, I was having serious concerns regarding Daniel’s video games. He would play them to the exclusion of everything. EVERYTHING – eating, bathing, and sleeping. He even struggled to stop to go to the bathroom. I began to view video games as an addiction for my son.
Video games were at the center of so many disputes and the trigger to so many meltdowns. I grew to hate video games.
Recently, my perspective has begun to change as I focus on my role as a guide, helping my son find his purpose. My intention is to understand my son better. To that end, I now view the things my son finds fascinating as windows into who he is and who he is becoming. They are tracks that point towards Daniel’s purpose.
Side note: I still believe that the activity of excluding life for the pursuit of one activity is unbalanced and unhealthy. My goal is to describe the change in my intention regarding my interaction with my son.
Namaste is the act of greeting a person by honoring the divine in them. It is an acknowledgement of their individuality and uniqueness. To me, this reminds me that what I find fulfilling and meaningful may not spark the same response in another, in this case my son. If I am to guide my son toward HIS purpose, I must honor that he is an individual. His purpose will not be my purpose, but that does not invalidate it.
My first lesson as my son’s guide is to approach my son’s interests with the INTENTION of understanding him as he is rather than the intention of shaping him into who I think he should be.
- Can we as parents of atypical children balance between healthy and necessary boundaries for our children while still appreciating their passion? How is this balance practically expressed
Aspies and Adults on the Spectrum:
- Was there a pivotal person in your life who appreciated your passion and helped you connect your purpose with action in the typical world?